Today Julie received a letter from Karla. Karla was trying to keep track of her treatment. Her handwriting in the letter was very messy, and you could see her writing deteriorating as the days went by and her pain increased. I typed the letter and am posting it here. The letter was the sent the 5th of Jan. That is last time we have heard from her. Karla's letter is as below:
*Need pain med. renewed
*morphine(2x) every 2 hours
*have trouble swallowing my throat sometimes won't let me swallow
*trouble sleeping, stay up because spasm come and go like back to back
*my pain came way before the medications are passed out
Around 10 pm I was having different kind of pain. I couldn't hear. My pain is in the left side of my face, stinging, burning pain. My vision went really blurry. I saw the doctor that was here. He just gave me percocet and let it go. I don't know if it is the same or not, but at this moment I feel that it is getting worse or changing. My pain is all night, because I lay down. I sleep in between pains. I sit in the chair sometimes, because I'm afraid to get in bed. I feel when they start the radiology it will relieve the pressure that makes me spasm. The other doctor from when my blood pressure is up, no meds. Up and down all the time.(165-200-170..blood pressure numbers)
December Tuesday the 16th, 2008
Phoenix had said that may not be soon, like tomorrow, but will help on getting radiation. But for now I need pain relief and I'm not getting it.
I had a real bad night, I asked for the nurse and the doctor. They took a heart monitor(EKG) and said that i was having anxiety attacks, but in the middle of it I had a spasm. The spasm threw the wires on to my stomach. Nurse Evans said that when I stop spasming she will come back and then left me. I asked for a doctor, they both said I was having an anxiety attack. My heart was having sharp pains. My main problem was my tumor in my neck and throat. It has become more intense. My face burns more, my neck hurts, more and I'm getting no sleep.
I go to lay down, my neck starts to burn, tightens up, my neck starts to hurt, then my head hurts real bad. It burns my face, my eyes. It hurts my chest all the way to my arm and hand.
All day long I have double vision. I can't stand up on my own.
Sun 21, 2008
Up all night between spasms. No sleep, very weak. Feeling out of breath right now.
asked for more nuxsotin for neck and they took my gaviton.
My blood pressure was 88/64
Day?my nurse took my oxygen reading for my heart, because I was complaining of my heart hurting, because of a spasm. Well, my blood pressure was 200 over something..I can't remember what the other was. All day long I feel dizzy, nauseous, double vision.
I've been breathing with my spasm, its hard. At night I sleep real still, try not to move my head or body.
I had a good night, 4:30 am I get my meds. and I have been having pains sharp in the neck, eyes, the head real bad.
I ask my 5:00 pm I told Nurse Cobert that I need my pain medications. Can she bring it as soon as she can? She said"ok". I was in so much pain. She said in 1 hour it was due. I said ok. At 6:00pm I called again, I got another nurse at 6:33 pm. I finally got my medication. They don't care if I am in pain or not.
I wrote a cop-out to Dr. Lorenzy, to go to the hospital. That I can't take the pain. The medication and the pain med is not doing the job, its extended to do that. I need to see someone. That is who knows what and how to treat my condition. I have asked over and over again to some of my nurses that I go to the hospital, cause my pain is so bad and I even talk with the night time Dr. They act like they don't care at all. I'm tired, so tired. Can't eat, can't sleep. I'm weak. I hurt in my chest under my left boob.
Look how bad my handwriting is compared to the first pages I wrote.
When I first got here the spasms were just on my left side, my head, my neck,my eye, my chest my arm, my hand all the way to my leg and foot. Now(12-30-08) the spasms are giving me the cold and hot tingle(cold tingle but hot burn) on both sides.
First radiations treatment. Doctor said, Dr. Lorenzy has to set me up for the Neurologist about my spasms. My Doctor Lorenzy said she was going to wait until after my radiation, he wanted it now!
Since the radiation, the pain has moved to the left face and left hand. It burns more than ever and hurts my temple of my eye and my upper teeth, sinus burns bad.
I was having the spasms and it was about 2 hours of the pain, I get so tired of doing it, that my body just limps, no muscle to hold my head up. Well, I had my head in a pillow trying to breath, I couldn't pull my head up and almost smothered myself. No more pillow.
Blood pressure 86/54. These spasms have been in my temple of my head. It burns bad. It hurts in my chest and arm. It feels like heart attacks, cause its sharp like knives, its hot like fire, but a cold numb.